Void

In the context of emptiness. The more I think about the word the more perplexing it becomes, and more displeased I get with it. It’s very unsettling.. But it’s tolerable. I can see and feel positive things; happiness, encouragement, comfort, joy, love and yet, they are being viciously ripped right out from underneath me. Or at least something is constantly trying to do so. It’s a game of tug-a-war. And I was warned it would be just that. I never quite fall down but it never fails to catch me completely off guard. Sometimes the unanticipated, could have been anticipated on my part. Undeniably, I have learned a lot, but not about myself, about you and the qualities you have; the qualities you show, you want, the qualities you hide. And yes, I said YOU and not I. Forgive me if I focus on the you. Let’s not be hypocrites. I have only been reminded of me, and who I still am. There are things I will change about myself but only because I want to anticipate, to forgive, to let go, and save myself in the process. But I am not empty and I don’t have a void to be filled. I am very full of things…of life or pray to be. And you have all seen that. So you can have your shoes. You can have your power. And you can have your dubious emotions because if that’s what’s insisted upon and what't wanted, I won’t take them from you.