Mindless Assumption

I know I'm not perfect and I wont make excuses for my actions or my imperfections.

They are what they are and all I can do is work to improve them.

My recent actions have caused and upheaval.

The actions weren't wrong or unreasonable.

Although they may have been made worse from imperfections.

Meaning, if  I could do them over I would..

but not to change the course of action, only to tweak certain things.

Timing, specific wording, maybe share more of my honest feelings..or less sharing perhaps.

Less defending, less explaining, less convincing, more meditating, more forgiving, more forgetting.

I'm working on showing and giving love regardless of other imperfections.

I have recently prayed more for guidance rather than answers.

I don't really need answers as to why people do and say the things they do.

I just need to know where to go from here.

And how to do things humbly.

Quite honestly I won't tell people anything or "My side of the story", if I am not asked. Even if i was asked, I doubt I would have much to say anymore.

I prayed for guidance and constantly hear, "The wise say less", "Less is more", "Have self-control", and "Learn to keep your mouth shut".

Someone of great eminence recently told his audience, "If someone wrongs you or you feel the urge to spout words, quite literally put your hand over your mouth, use more than the usual effort to keep from speaking harshly, even if it's a defense of yourself."

I have this need to control everything that happens in my life.

I came to the conclusion that sometimes, unfortunately,

we have to just roll with the punches, regardless of how much they hurt.

It'ts not how to stop things from happening, but how we handle them when they do.

I..

You..

We will always deal with judgment, opinionated people, dirty looks, jealousy, slander...whatever it is.

People don't need proof, evidence, or facts, to come up with their mindless assumptions and theories as to what they feel or what they believe to true about you..or themselves.

So I won't battle the assumptions people lay in front of me anymore. 

My world won't be shaped from speculations or facades.

I have realized timing is everything.

I have learned to roll with the punches.

I have accepted that less is sometimes more.

And I'll remind myself that love never fails.

Ale

You Stealer of Dreams!

Id just much rather be in bed than at work.
I'm sure you..who ever is reading this,
can relate to the first time you open your eyes in the morning and the intense urge to shut them immediately in the same second, and even than, its not soon enough.
Sleep never feels as good as it does when your alarm goes off;
the covers have never been more warm;
and your eyelids have never been heavier.
This morning I couldn’t find any valid excuses for staying in bed,
except for the fact I wanted to finish my dream.
My lala land ruin by the buzzing noise that made everything freeze.
Like putting a movie on pause.
I hit snooze like I was pressing play.
I kept telling myself, "Just five more minutes..five more.. Okay five more.."
By this point though the dream world had long gone. And I found myself chasing it.
"Stupid alarm! You stealer of dreams!..I hate you so bad right now!"

Roll out of the covers into the cold air, open the bedroom door eyes still shut.
It's not that I  dread the new day.
It's just that I loathe waking up in this way.
I want to wake when my dream has come to an end.
But the sudden screeching, and persistant fuss it wretched.
I have to jump up in panic and fight the covers and pillows to find the snooze button.
My sorrows only deepin once I realize
all this will be repeated again..
the same way..
the same time.. tomorrow.



Ale

There's a Ringing in My Ear

Do you ever hear a noise that makes your skin crawl?
Like nails down the chalk board for example?
Maybe its someones voice, or a squeeky door hinge…
There is a chair at work that creeks everytime the person in it moves.
He just so happens to move often…very often.
Drives
Me
Mad.
Its really not even that loud its just like... an annoying ringing in your ear.
No one  else can hear it; and you know it will eventually fade or get better, but you desperately
and impatiently want that it to go away. And the more you think about it, the louder it gets.
I want to get him a new chair. A chair that doesn’t creek.
"Its already hard enough coming to work guy, please quit moving so dang much."
I have daydreamed many times about taking the chair,
wheeling it out to the lobby, and SHOVING it down the flight of stairs.
...I'm just not so sure how that would go over with the boss.
The fall might create a disturbance.
If my next blog title is "Fired" ya'll know why...


Ale