I know I'm not perfect and I wont make excuses for my actions or my imperfections.
They are what they are and all I can do is work to improve them.
My recent actions have caused and upheaval.
The actions weren't wrong or unreasonable.
Although they may have been made worse from imperfections.
Meaning, if I could do them over I would..
but not to change the course of action, only to tweak certain things.
Timing, specific wording, maybe share more of my honest feelings..or less sharing perhaps.
Less defending, less explaining, less convincing, more meditating, more forgiving, more forgetting.
I'm working on showing and giving love regardless of other imperfections.
I have recently prayed more for guidance rather than answers.
I don't really need answers as to why people do and say the things they do.
I just need to know where to go from here.
And how to do things humbly.
Quite honestly I won't tell people anything or "My side of the story", if I am not asked. Even if i was asked, I doubt I would have much to say anymore.
I prayed for guidance and constantly hear, "The wise say less", "Less is more", "Have self-control", and "Learn to keep your mouth shut".
Someone of great eminence recently told his audience, "If someone wrongs you or you feel the urge to spout words, quite literally put your hand over your mouth, use more than the usual effort to keep from speaking harshly, even if it's a defense of yourself."
I have this need to control everything that happens in my life.
I came to the conclusion that sometimes, unfortunately,
we have to just roll with the punches, regardless of how much they hurt.
It'ts not how to stop things from happening, but how we handle them when they do.
I..
You..
We will always deal with judgment, opinionated people, dirty looks, jealousy, slander...whatever it is.
People don't need proof, evidence, or facts, to come up with their mindless assumptions and theories as to what they feel or what they believe to true about you..or themselves.
So I won't battle the assumptions people lay in front of me anymore.
My world won't be shaped from speculations or facades.
I have realized timing is everything.
I have learned to roll with the punches.
I have accepted that less is sometimes more.
And I'll remind myself that love never fails.
Ale
